Friday, May 9, 2014

Confessions of a Mother

It's Mothers Day weekend, and I'm positive that the Internet will be inundated with messages of love and gratitude to Mother's everywhere. Messages telling Mommy's they should be proud of their "ruined" bodies from pregnancy and breast feeding because you were strong enough to carry life and bring it into the world. How the destruction of their once at least semi-clean house is nothing in comparison to the little fingerprints on your heart, or that the mountains and mountains of laundry are minuscule compared to the mountains you would climb for your children, no matter how old, or how young.

Now, all of these messages are true. (Definitely true!) I'm not trying to sell short the emotional sentiments of honoring motherhood. Becoming a Mother has been one of the best things to happen to me. I'm just saying there is a whole lot of stuff that they don't tell you about Motherhood...

It. Is. Hard. End of story...
It's hard feeling guilty about having healthy children of your own while you help friends grieve the loss of a pregnancy or child. It's hard trying to love your body again beyond the stretch marks and scarred nipples.(And where the hell did all those gray hairs come from!) It's hard laying in bed with a war waging inside you between wanting to go to your (for the tenth time tonight) crying child and just wanting to go to sleep, for the love of Pete! It's hard to continue loving this little creature rolling on the floor in a mad tantrum in the grocery store isle. (Is this really my child?!?)  It's hard waking up from dreams and wondering if you are doing right by your children, or if you are just creating a breeding ground for "Mommy issues" in your future grown up child.

It.Is. Hard. And these confessions are just the tip of the iceberg.
But let me tell you...It. Is. Okay.
It's okay to resent your partner because you have to get up, again, to feed the baby. It's okay to want to pull your hair out and just dream of peeing by yourself. It's okay to close the door and count to ten. It's okay, and VERY VERY necessary to take time just for mommy.

It. Is. Hard. And It. Is. Okay. But you are not alone...there are mothers everywhere who at some point in time have, will, or do feel the exact same way as you. So, this Mother's Day raise your glass! Toast yourself, your mother, your mentors, your friends, and(why not) your children! You are a woman, you are a mother, and you deserve all the love, gratitude and appreciation this weekend! (Even if sometimes you don't feel like you deserve it)
 After all the best thing you can give your children is Love.
Love for YOURSELF, love for your children, and love for the world.

Happy Mothers Day!