New Year, New Goal

2013 has come and gone, and it was quite the adventure.  Some days it felt like an uphill battle, others like a stroll through the meadow. But our "Mountain of a Year" had more peaks than valleys, including the addition of Abigail Anne to our family, Scott's graduation from his masters program, and a big ol move across the ocean, and a life-changing trip to Africa...just to name a few.

 Through it all one of the biggest life reminders brought back into focus is the importance of surrounding yourself with those who support, love, and cherish you. I have been blessed to have such a network in my life that spans, currently, across continents. I have been, and AM, blessed. In 2014 my goal is to connect and reconnect with those near and far. I am blessed to have everyone in my life, and it is time to let them know how special they make me feel each and every day. I plan to write to those I know, be open to those I do not yet know, smile at strangers, and live each day with a little gratitude in my heart...Happy New Year! May it be filled with love, peace, joy, and laughter. Spread the love this year...

Hand prints, band aids, paint strokes, and kisses...

For those of you who know me well, it comes as no surprise that the 2 of the 3 songs Ren usually asks for at night are "Let It Be" by the Beatles and "For Good" from Wicked. The other night I was singing "For Good" and just started crying(This too for those who know me should come as no surprise) but it just hit me... It had been a hard 'mommy day'. Both kids were fussy all day after not sleeping well the night before... 

 How do kids seem to know when the other finally settled, so its their time to fuss...I didn't know sibling power included the ability to double team tag in and out all night so that mommy and daddy get as little sleep as possible, but I digress.... 

So, needless to say I was ready for bedtime to be over so I could sit and relax with a glass of wine and mindless novel before crawling into bed myself...but Ren just snuggled in deep and looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes of his and I fell in love all over again. It was a perfect reminder on what it means to be a mommy, and was just what I needed. No matter how many spills clean, tears I wipe, or tantrums I deal with in a day I will always be their mommy and they will always be my precious children... and as the song says "you'll be with me, like a hand print on my heart". My children will always be with me as tiny hand prints, band aids, paint strokes, and kisses on my heart...I am blessed <3 nbsp="" p="">

And for those of you who are curious...the other song Ren requests for bedtimes is usually Twinkle Star or some other Broadway tune...

Life is Full Of...

Life is full of...
          

              Wonderful Adventures, Joyous Occasions, and Difficult Decisions...

...But ultimately is definitely worth living! 

A lot of changes have happened so far this year, and many more are to come! It has been an amazing roller coaster these past four years in Hawaii, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I've laughed, I've cried, we have lost family, and gained, I've grown as a person, as a wife, as a mom...now it's time yet again to spread my wings and fly.

The Wonderful Adventure headed my way, comes this summer when my family and I will move to Colorado to be closer to more family. This decision wasn't easy, but ultimately it's the best, and we are looking forward to this next adventure, and ready to read the next chapter of our lives! 

       

We have been blessed with multiple Joyous Occasions. Abigail Anne joined us on February 25th. Ren loves being the big brother. How we were so blessed to have two amazing children, I may never know. (But then again maybe my tune will change once they hit teenagers...lol...)

       

Difficult Decisions have been many this past month. The decision to move was hard, but once decided upon really seemed like the perfect thing to do. One that is harder for me currently is where to take my career once we move. I have a plan to open a business in 5-7 years...but currently that is just an idea,my brain child, an aspiration...sometimes the first steps are the hardest...

Ultimately, life is perfect just as it is...life will change and that is perfect too. Life is about living, don't fret the small stuff and enjoy the ride... :)

Mater at Heart

You know you have a two year old son when...
                     ...you can quote the entire Disney Pixar's Cars movie.

You know Disney Pixar's Cars is a good movie when...
                    ...you feel like watching it, even though your two year old son is at daycare.

Needless to say, I have watched Cars more times than I can count recently, but I don't mind one bit! Not only do I get the rare snuggle time with my always on the go son, it's an enjoyable movie chock full of little lessons...at least for me
One of my favorite quotes (and I know a lot..) is when Sally says "Cars didn't drive on the road to make good time, they drove on it to have a good time" (or something similar). I thought this was an excellent metaphor for my life. I need to remember in all the hustle and bustle of life to stop, and take time to enjoy the ride..or there is so much I am going to miss.
But the one I learn the most from is .... Good 'Ol Mater!!

I want to be like Mater, at least in outlook on life...not in intelligence. He is always so positive and friendly. Always willing to come to the rescue, wether it be by tow or to listen, by excitement or to offer advice. He is by far my favorite part of the movie (besides the snuggles I mentioned before :-D)

Good Work Disney, you made a good one in Cars... I'm a fan!

Mommyhood the second time around...

Yesterday little Abby made one month, and what a month it has been too! A month full of memories, laughter, tears (both happy and sad), smiles, snuggles, and fears.

The lessons learned this month are many..motherhood the second time around is just as rewarding! However, it is just as fraught with trials and woes..and I'm sure that doesn't change with any new child.

My breastfeeding woes were plenty (again...) but finally breastfeeding is becoming enjoyable! I still have fears and tears that come and go. Am I doing the right thing? What is the right thing? When will this heal? Why can't I feel normal again? Questions and doubts fleeted in and out throughout the month..but so did the smiles, snuggles, and happy memories. It is so amazing watching my son become a big brother, watching him grow and learn. Caring for Abby, nurturing her amazing little body and soul as she becomes part of this world..what could be sweeter?

As the all knowing trash heap sings "We've all got troubles, we've got strife, we've got wo-o-o-es" (Fraggile Rock reference for those of you who are confused :D) But in the long run its all worth it. Life doesn't throw anything our way that we can't handle..all we have to do is figure out the tools necessary and the shoulders to lean on...and I'm figuring it all out, slowly but surely with the help of my wonderfully fantastic and amazing family and friends! I am one blessed girl...

Playing at the Park with my kiddos on St. Patrick's Day! 

All in all..Motherhood is well worth all the ups, downs, and roller coaster dips. It's a wonderful life, and I intend to enjoy it to the last drop.  <3 nbsp="">

Sweet Release

"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."

-Ann Landers

In my limited life experience there is little that has been more empowering than giving birth. But for me the hardest part of labor, is waiting for it...

I've always been a planner...I've been making lists ever since I learned how to write. So, the unknown of when baby G is blessing our family with her presence is an ongoing crick in my neck (and back, and ribs, and...lol...little pregnancy humor there). Everyone says, "Don't worry! They can't stay in there forever" Well, I know that as much as the next 9 month pregnant woman...but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to wait. <3 nbsp="" p="">

So the other morning I found myself at the beach, I sat on the rocks feeling the waves of the ocean at my feet and looking out into the great unknown that is the sea. I felt calm and connected, to myself, my baby, and the world. A peaceful experience that lead me to this goal of letting go...

Let go of my plans, and thoughts...trust in myself and my baby.  My goal for each day while waiting for baby to come is to listen with my heart, and turn down my thoughts...and Trust. 

Here goes nothing... 

Slow Me Down...

 There is a song titled Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum that I have always enjoyed. It's a good reminder to slow down, and not let life pass me by. Throughout life many people have been brought into my life to remind me of this lesson, most recently those individuals would be my children. Whether it's to stop and take time to view the beauty of the world around me with eyes of wonder every child seems to have, or to simply have patience the lessons have been coming fast these past few weeks.

My children have been my greatest teachers, and I know I have many more lessons to learn, but I am grateful for the reminder to Slow Down, don't rush through life...Live Life, enjoy life, because it changes so fast. My only hope is that I too can teach my children a few lessons so that they grow up with love in their heart, a smart head on their shoulders, and may they never loose those eyes of wonder when viewing the world around them.

Mommy Moments...

I've discovered that pregnancy the next time around isn't as "easy"as it was when I was pregnant with Ren. There are some days I wonder if I'm doing right by Ren, if I'm doing right by the little one growing inside me, or if I'm just plain doing right as a Mommy. Doubts are always going to trickle in, I think it's just the nature of motherhood...and those doubts are blown out of the water when you have what I've come to think of as Mommy Moments. 

As I was laying in bed reading last month, as laying down is just about the only completely 'comfortable' position for me these days, Scott brought Ren in to say goodnight. When the door opened Ren said "Mommy!" with a huge smile and proceeded to warm my heart by snuggling down in bed with me, holding me as if I'd been gone all day, not just an hour. Then melted my heart completely by saying "baby" and pointing to my tummy, giving kisses to his little sister...Precious memories to add to my Mommy Moments box...

Another box worthy Mommy moment happened the other day while driving in the car. I was listening to a mix I had made and Dixie Chicks "I hope" came on. (If you haven't heard it, here is a link to the song, great song!) Ren was in his car seat and as I was singing along I reached back played with his foot a little. He then grabbed my hand and held it, almost as if to say 'I hope so too Mommy, but either way..you rock Mommy'. Cheesy I know, and maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, but I cried anyway...

Moments like these make me understand what it means to be a Mom, why women have travelled down this road called motherhood. It makes all the crying, whining, and tantrums worth it. I love being a Mommy and I wouldn't change a thing. I may not be perfect, but no one is, and all I know is that I love my little rascals with all my heart...and that's what counts.